I Really Do Not Want To Believe This Story

Because if it is true,there really are people so stupid that they probably need instructions  every few seconds: inhale, exhale.  From March 1, 2013 Hit and Run:

A Maryland kid chewed his breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun at school and wound up with two days suspension. The pastry in question was not named, but it's gotta be a Pop-Tart, right?

The kid claims he was actually trying to chew it in the shape of a mountain, but the teacher decided it looked too much like a gun.  Let's give the teacher The benefit of the doubt: what if the kid actually was chewing his pastry into the shape of the dreaded AR 15? Did the teacher think this kid was about to open fire, squirting strawberry filling all over the rest of the students?